A very happy birthday to Sean. Celebrated his belated 17 today with a big gang related to him one way or another.
Hoped he liked it.
Besides being Sean's birthday, it's one of my happiest day in these few months...
Went back to NYP for a lecture, and I got to meet her. This will be the first time in months I've ever seen her after the incident. It's mixed emotions.
I'm really happy to be able to see her again, and I was lucky to be able to get a small glimpse of her warm smile...though that smile is not directed at me, I feel as if I'm whole again.
We still didn't spoke, and I think the rift had yet get any closer.
Despite still acting like strangers, I was really elated, that kinda summarized my feelings then...well, a big part of me is definitely over the moon.
But there's another part of me, that felt anxiety and slight fear...I'm getting afraid. Day by day I'm thinking if this is how things are going for the rest of the days.
I don't want that...
I wanna be her friend again. Not just a friend who only exist on her friend list and nothing else...I wanna be a friend like before, talking about anything under the sun.
However, I can't afford to make another mistake...
I really hope that she's only avoiding me (if she is...) because of the awkwardness, and not because she hates me...
But...is this really how things are going to continue for the remaining time?
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