Apologies...

First of all...

Sorry to my peers today for abandoning you all in the middle of the occasion and being such a wet blanket, when it's supposed to be joyous. I know I'm being pretty much of an asshole when I did that. You can curse and swear about me...you may even decide to hate me for the rest of your life as a mood spoiler, I accept em all...for I have nothing much to say to defend myself.

It's all part of me...

When I'm not needed, I'll walk away and isolate myself from the group, especially when I feel that I can't exactly blend into the clique. To me, it's better to feel alone in solitude, rather than in a crowd and your presence is not of any significance...

I'm not blaming anybody for anything, that's how I've always felt, and that's what happened before. People got me into a group, and they just left me alone to fend for myself. Perhaps a grudge from then, and here I am trying to have a lil more initiative?

I dunno...

Thus, I've decided to take the initiative to leave and minimize any damage that shall be dealt, rather than being an eyesore, not only to the public, but to myself as well...

Silence would only bring upon more awkwardness, so I'd rather make a silent exit, and tone things down, while the others can still continue with their routine.

If any of you guys are upset about my behavior, you can drag me out and tell it in my face...I might or might not rebuke, but eventually...I'll accept them as what I deserved...I'm prepared for the worst, I've said it before, you might be considering now whether a soul like me deserves your friendship.

No matter your decisions, so long you think it's the right thing to do, I'll respect em.

I've told myself before not to socialize too much at the start of the orientation, for fear that history might repeat itself again...but it seems like I can't resist the temptation of wanting to make new friends, and I can't help betting my chance with you guys...hopefully I can be friends with you all, true pals like the few I had in previous educations...

If you've decided that I'm a hypocrite...a difficult to be with person...a fraud...and you've decided that this pathetic soul deserves no passion...deserves no respect...deserves no friendship, and have decided to make me lose this bet, I understand...

Just in case you guys wouldn't want to take anymore crap from me...

Thank you...

Thank you all for accepting me as your friend. It's greatly appreciated. But more days are to come, are you able to accept me and my unstable personality on a long term basis? The decision is in your hands...

I'm not treating our friendships lightly...I may not know to what extent I've cherished these friendships, but I have definitely tried my utmost best to treasure em. It's just that I want people to know that they're accepting someone who has an awful past, who has an awful personality, and possibly an awful human being who could probably jinx you out of your life, as a friend.

I've been half a loner for more than a decade, I could be the same probably for the rest of my life, but I want peers who are able to bear with my unstable personality...

Sorry to sound so selfish and all...and once again, I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier today...

I'm sorry...