Nostalgic? I dunno...

Just finished tidying up my shelf...out of the entire room......

Ah what do you expect...if I would clear up everything in a day...pigs would fly damn it...

Loads of stuff...some magazines, dictionaries, comics, my Poly stuff. Of course, some remnants of my Secondary school memories...good and bad.

Textbooks and guide books...I hate em...

Exercise books with most of my exercises marked with either a big cross or a big question mark...heh...kinda missed those days of defying the teachers...

Newsletters...well...kinda wanna relive the fun events back then. "O" Levels definitely doesn't fall into that category...

Next, my Sec 4 class photo. I missed those guys...it's been a long time since I last met most of em. I haven't went back to Damai since the last NCC training of my underlings where they will step down and prepare for the "O" Levels. There's plenty of time now in hand...but I'm not motivated to go back...

Maybe cause I don't wanna give Mr Cho or any other teachers to tease me of anything? I wonder...

Finally...the most taboo of all things...the year books and Sec 2 photo. More faces that I haven't met in a very long while...I realized that this photo is the only picture I have actually smiled. I believe that I finally know the real reason why...

Due to a certain incident...most smiling faces in those pictures are now frowning at me...a pathetic incident...a mistake made from my traumatic past...the decision which ended a lot of friendship from what I had then...my weak mindset hurt a lot of people...and she's one of them...

I wished that I could make amendments...I wished that I could make them feel better...I wished that I could ask for one more chance...

But the damages are done...it can't be reversed, neither can it be undone.

I know that it ain't as sincere to text it down...but I believe that I no longer have the courage to face any of you guys...neither can I say it face to face...let alone her...

To all whom I've done wrong to...I'm sorry...

I don't know if you guys will ever forgive me...but I'm alright with it. I don't mind being blamed and hated for my actions. But I ask of you all...if you guys were to forgive me...please erase me along with the incident from your mind...I don't wish to be the source of unhappiness when you guys think back of Secondary school memories...

To Stelene...I'm glad that you didn't accept me in the past. It hurts...but I'm kinda relieved as well. If not...I really wonder what can I say to you under such circumstance...

All I can say now...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...