Attended Addy's birthday party yesterday...and stayed till today. The party is kwl, with big rooms and with all the family and friends celebrating with you. Party of such magnitude...you just can't ask for more...
But sadly...it looks like I have ruined part of the party. It was selfish of me, to make use of someone's birthday party, and the supply of alcohol to numb myself.
I drank cups after cups of Martel...or however you spell it...and I tried to look for some drinking companions...Raymond was the first, and the last. Tried to jio Fernanders to drink with me...luckily he didn't. I was sober even after those drinks, I can still see what is happening, and I can still play Naruto on the PS2, and I've still got control over my limbs and body.
Finally...I ran into the toilet and threw up...I wanted to get drunk...I want to forget about everything, just for one night...one night only...but I couldn't. Instead, my body gave way, and I......
All I have to say...is that I'm sorry Addy...for being such a fudger by making use of your party as an human tranquilizer for myself, and as a result, I screwed your party...
I know it's not right to do so...but I really can't find any other alternatives to make me forget a certain memory...if I just leave it alone and let time take it's course, within weeks, I will go bonkers...
It's ironic......
I was in pain, and I wish to forget about her...but on a second thought, I couldn't bear to...she's important to me, but I want to escape from the crutches of those nightmares badly as well...
Call me a coward...call me an asshole or whatever you people want. Blame me...condemn me...hate me...I will not shield my ass from all your criticisms...
After all...I'm born to be hated......
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